Why do you want to be a singer?
A very long time ago, someone asked me that question. My answer is the same then as it is now and it spread past just singing…
To inspire people.
To be a catalyst for people to know they can make their dreams a reality. To help them realize that they shouldn’t have to settle for what someone else wants for them. To show them that their truest self is what the world wants to see. To want to be their best self, in their best life–happy and free!
And to show that magic is everywhere is in the world–if you’re open to it.
I know I’m constantly in awe of the world around me.
Music is the purest form of magic in this world. It has the ability to literally transform, not only your emotional energetic output into the world (totally measurable–look it up), but your very DNA. The music waves can penetrate the spaces within the tiniest cells in your body, completely transforming what’s inside. Music makes you feel things. It helps you feel like you’re not the only person in the world who’s suffered heartache. It makes you feel joyful, silly, thoughtful, rebellious or even peaceful. Depends on what you decide to listen to really…
What I’ve always wanted was for my music and performances to move people, to lift them up from their current state to inspire them to really go for what they deep-in-their-hearts-and-dreams want.
The idea that someone was expected to live and behave a certain way never sat well with me. I grew up in a big white bubble where practically everyone appeared to be the same, and the same expectations were placed on each soul. Fortunately, my mom raised me in a way that she always supported me, no matter what. Outside the home, however, it was a struggle to get the people around me to embrace my weirdness; I was a non-Mormon growing up in the heart of Mormon country. So I did the easy thing: I got good grades and was a total teacher’s pet… But, that was because I found it impossible to fit in among my peers. Since I moved around a lot as a kid due to my parents divorce, I had to make new friends at each new school I attended (a total of six elementary schools). Most kids thought I was weird. And it’s true–I was different and I felt it every time I thought I had a friend, did something uniquely me, and turned around to find them gone. Often alone, I would sit on the swings at recess, singing or quoting movies (oftentimes in the wonderful acoustics of the bathroom–one of my lifelong BFFs will still attest to this). Even in my last and longest elementary school experience, I often spent my time writing in a little corner nook of the school building and humming along to some tune in my head.
That was my happy place. I didn’t care what people thought; I just did what made me feel comfortable–and music did that for me. Singing is one thing that makes me feel most whole and at home.
So, naturally, I studied voice performance in college. And I actually did not like it. It felt too easy. The program did not feel conducive or supportive to growing as your own artist, and the Diva Syndrome was simply not my jam (got flack from seniors as a freshman for being one of two selected for the first concert of the year). The switch to English Literature became the toughest academic challenge of my life–but it taught me so much about stories, and how each of us has our own to live. One of my favorite essays, actually, was about the transformation into the Golden Age of Broadway (the more you know!). Another was an expose on children in literature through Alice in Wonderland when I studied abroad at Cambridge for a summer. But I digress…
Sometimes life asks us to tell our own stories
to help others, too.
For so long, I felt like I had a story to tell, but it was so hard to figure out what it was. I would start and stop stories so often, I was like an ADHD kid starting the first page in a library book before diving into the next one only to do the same thing. Over and over.
I still write stories. Although now, I know better which ones my soul wants to tell.
It’s surprising what your soul will tell you when you actually listen to it. And it turns out, that’s something I’m good at, too. Listening to your soul.
As a medium (translation: a really intuitive person that channels messages from Spirit or other energy sources), I’m able to tap into the energies of a person, as well as their Angels, guides and even the collective divine universal power (that’s love, yo) that governs us all. Sometimes dead people want my help too, but that’s a different discussion. Through this special gift, I help people understand their story, their role in it and how all the dots can connect better, so they can become more attuned and aligned with the one deep inside their heart.
One of my favorite questions to ask people when they complain about something is, “Well, what does your soul want?” I’m often met with bewildered stares and comments of, “That wouldn’t help me!” Au contraire, mon ami. Because, what your soul wants, even more than its own desires, is for you to listen to that little voice inside. It could want a hug, a cry fest, to sit next to a tree (common one for me), pet a puppy or even simply to sit and be.
Your soul wants your attention.
Unfortunately we’ve grown up in a society where everything is ruled by the almighty buck, capitalism and stripping the community almost completely free of its own true choice–we are taught to become cubicle clones (all the love to you if you’re happy there; not everyone is). To feed a competitive society and economy instead of our hearts and our connection to other people. To be carved into this cookie-cutter individual that doesn’t think outside the box, because what is expected is how society “runs” itself. We’ve been preprogrammed–by the government, schools (ahem, run by the aforementioned), and the economy (which the government wants us to support)–to support “the man.” To work a 9-5 j-o-b for a paycheck that doesn’t necessarily mean you can live the life you want.
Trust me! I’ve been there! I thought I had everything all set to be good for a while. Unlike many people, I actually had a 9-5 job that I enjoyed and was performing/rehearsing for local musical theatre productions in the evenings. It worked out very well and I was as happy as I could be… for a couple years.
Until I remembered that my soul craved more. I decided I was done settling for what was just “good.” What I wanted was riveting, passionate, playful, curious, connected, expansive full-on living while doing the things that I knew I loved–performing and writing.
A little less than a year from that aha! moment that left me questioning what it was I truly desired, I moved to New York City, the first city that had ever felt like home to me on my first visit nearly a decade prior. New York City provided quite the ample playground for all I desired and more. New York City helped unearth the real me (that was too scared to come out of hiding while in Utah).
This city got me out of my own way and helped me discover that while I have passions in music and writing, I found that spreading love to uplift others was one of the most magical things I could do. It didn’t so much matter the format, as long as I could be that conduit of love, joy and healing for whoever needs it most.
That’s what brings me the most joy. That’s the kind of work that makes me come alive.
To be that performer who’s song makes you want to go after your dreams and makes you feel joy and love in your soul.
The writer that shows you words and worlds that illuminate the magic in real life, even if just through your imagination (which is quite powerful)… That the lessons and characters reflect parts of you in the stories they tell and help guide your way.
And the medium to help you understand your own story and guide you to connect your own dots in this one and precious life you’re living. Don’t waste it.
You have so much to give. Your soul wants to aspire to a certain something. It may be different from Jack and Jill’s–and that’s more than okay (totally encouraged here!).
All you have to do, is listen.
That’s your life, your purpose, your truth… Begging to come out of you. Let’s bring out your story together. You are never alone in this. What is it that your soul is craving?
Dare to be different. Dare to be you.
Allow me to be your lighthouse to bring you back to why you were put on earth at this time. And yes, there is a reason. Don’t for one second doubt that you’re special. You’re an unlimited spirit in a magical body with fingers to help you do things and a brain that can do so much more than think–that alone makes you special. It’s that spirit inside that makes you even more so. That spirit wants to birth something, and I’m here to help you see the light that shows you that you can.